Building an Attractive Personality
What would your personality be like if you hung around the
300 Spartans? For one, it would probably help eradicate
every bit of wuss you have lying around inside.
The other day I was thinking about how it’s just as important
to work on your character as it is to work on your outer
appearance, and how at the end of the day,
your image is useless if there’s no personality
behind it to communicate.
Then the question arose: what are the most EFFECTIVE ways
to build an attractive personality?
I’m always working on some part of myself that I want to
develop. Currently I’m trying to learn how to become a better
storyteller. I wasn’t making any progress for awhile but quickly
realized that I was taking the wrong approach of trying to learn
it all on my own. I didn’t know what worked and what didn’t,
and how I could work on these traits more effectively.
Through this process I was reminded that many guys are
trying to become a better version of themselves, but are
struggling to do so because they are spending too much
of their energy reinventing the wheel instead of modeling
after those who are already on the ride.
Something like storytelling isn’t something you can improve
at by yourself.
Alone, the process can be slow and full
of mistakes, but by surrounding yourself with some of
the best, you cut down the learning time tremendously
by picking up on the crucial principles and details that
only experiential success can bring. Basically, you’ll be set
on the path that guarantees results if you stick to it. All you
have to do is follow through.
You become the average of those
who you’re constantly around.
Early today, I was eating breakfast and watching this
commercial on television that featured a white girl,
an Asian girl, and a black girl. I was busy eating my food
and wasn’t even watching the screen, but just by listening
I could clearly make out which girl was which
from their accents.
The white girl had a slight New York accent that
I made out in a split second (which was easy because
I’m from New York), and the Asian girl spoke in a subtle,
but distinguishable Asian accent, which I could tell from
her slight overcompensation in pronouncing her words.
The black girl had an attitude in her voice like she was
from the ghetto.
This has nothing to do with racial background, but more about
where these people grew up. The way they talk might have
nothing to do with where they are specifically from either,
but the people around them. Most of the time these people
have NO idea that they have these accents, but they have
them because of the people they surround themselves with.
The fastest and most effective way to grow a part
of your personality is to surround yourself with people
who already have what you want.
Have you ever caught yourself acting just like the friends
you hang around most?
Most of this is subconscious.
It might be certain vocabulary you use, the tonality in
how you say a word, or even your attitude towards life.
When we hang around people long enough, we inevitably
move towards similar behaviors, beliefs, and ways of living
without even thinking about it.
Choose who you surround yourself with carefully, because
they could be rubbing off on you, in both beneficial or
detrimental ways. We can easily become a sponge that
absorbs the behaviors of those we stay in contact
with most.
Coined by Napolean Hill, a man who studied thousands of
t
he most successful people in the world and distilled the
commonalities into the principles in the book,
Think and Grow Rich, the “mastermind group”
is a must for anyone serious about growth…
This doesn’t mean you should be going into panic mode and
start cutting off contact with anyone who you believe isn’t
serving your growth. Everyone has attractive qualities to their
personality. For example, your friend might be horrible in a
social setting but a genius when it comes to computers.
If you want to build your computer savvy, you’ll learn faster
from him than if you were to try and learn by yourself
through books alone.
For example, earlier in my life I used to hang out with a lot of
gut-busting-ly funny people. These guys were comedic geniuses,
throwing an entire room into uncontrollable laughter at will.
The more I was around these people, the funnier I became.
In the beginning I picked up some jokes and material that
I would use with others. Just imitating certain lines was
a huge improvement. But with time, I began to understand
the nuances that made a joke not only funny, but absolutely
killer.
I began to “see the matrix” in terms of
delivering the hook, the timing, and the attitude
that results in great humor. Now, I’m confident that
I can bring out my own unique humor in any situation because
of the principles I’ve learned from the masters and honed
through my own experience.
This is definitely true for developing your style.
Surround yourself with the most stylish people you
can find, and see how great of an impact it has on
your own image.
I just want to note that you can surround yourself with successful
people through books, tapes, videos, or whatever way you
can find until you create a direct relationship with one in the
area of your choice. However, a direct relationship with
successful people has so many more benefits including
having a “coach” who has been through the process to
help you through your obstacles, having someone who you
can bounce ideas with, and having that “real life” example
of success to fuel your belief.
So take a look at yourself and some personality traits you
might want to develop. Then start to look for people who
have these traits, and make an effort to hang out with them.
Once you start doing that, you can start modeling them
and implementing what they do.
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